The Afterlife

*Nep smiles slightly at Death's choice of game, then sits down to play*

*Nep tries her best to enjoy herself, laughing at the various shenanigans involved and just trying to be happy*

*Eventually, Death catches the mouse, proclaiming him the victor*

*Nep looks at Death, slightly concerned*

:33 < best two out of thr33?

Death looks at the board with a grimace, agreeing to Nep's terms.

*This time Nep is more focused, but that doesn't entirely help in a game of luck*

*Neps heart sinks and her eyes widen in fear as she once again loses*

*She looks at Death, afraid*

Death glances at Feferi before looking back down at the game board. He weakly suggests best three out of five, looking over his shoulder, hoping that the Devil wouldn't be watching him.

*Feferi is very unconscious at this point, having fainted from the blood loss. Her wounds are slowly healing but she is definitely not in a condition to move*
-------------
*Nep turns to Fef and her eyes widen. She whips out of her seat, knocking over the board and holding Feferi's hand*

:33 < feferi! wake up!
------------
*Fefs eyes flutter and she looks at Nep weakly*

Death looks shocked before suddenly gaining a contemplative look. Death bemoans his daughter in a faux acting tone. A liquid black tear of sorrow streams down his face. He shouts out to the sky if only there was someone here that could take her to a hospital, perhaps a good friend of hers that know their way around the overworld. He then gives a gasp, saying that purrhaps Nepeta could take her to the hospital,and if Nepeta doesn't come back to the afterlife after that, oh well! He couldn't stop her. Death opens up a door to reality and tries shooing Nepeta and Feferi out, while looking over his shoulder nervously.

I'm disappointed in you, Death. We both know there will be consequences for what you're doing.

*Yggdrasil appears in a flash of black and purple, glaring at Death*

Death yelps in surprise, turning to face Ygg. He jokingly chuckles, saying that clearly this the only option he can do, his daughter needs medical attention. He takes a few steps backwards before bumping into a red, angry, balding fat man with goat legs and horns.

HEY FUCK YOU LADY YOU AIN'T GOT AUTHORITY HERE.

Death sighs in relief. Maybe this will be easier than he thought.

IT'S UP TO ME TO KEEP ORDER HERE. I DON'T NEED YOU TAKING ANOTHER ONE OF MY JOBS YOU TREE LOVING FUCK.
The devil hobbled over to Death.
AS FOR YOU, YOU KNOW FULL WELL THAT YOU CAN'T JUST LET SOMEONE GO. WE AGREED ON YOUR BOARD GAMES BULLSHIT BUT YOU CAN'T JUST HAVE SOMEONE WHO LOST GO FREE.

Death looks terrified, but eyes Nepeta, willing her to leave as fast as possible.

*Ygg sighs, seeing Death's gaze. She snaps her fingers and a black tendril grows in front of the door*

Maybe I wouldn't have to interfere if either of you did your job. Just letting people walk out or letting them go has consequences on the entire universe. I dislike conscious life but I prefer for the Universe itself to be stable if you please. Maybe keep an eye on these two so they can't just stroll out?

The devil strides up to Ygg, staring up at her in the most menacing way a 3 foot satyr can.
THE UNIVERSE IS FINE. THE ONLY WAY IT WON'T BE IS IF HORRORSHITS LIKE YOU KEEP TAKING ALL MY DEALS. YOU'RE FUCKING UP OUR RECORDS. WE'RE OUT MILLIONS BECAUSE OF YOU GUYS. I'D MUCH RATHER HAVE A FEW PEOPLE RUNNING AROUND WHO SHOULD HAVE BEEN DEAD A YEAR AGO THAN HAVE TO REFILE THE PAPERWORK OF EVERY SOUL STOLEN BY YOU FUCKS. ASIDE FROM THAT, YOU'RE CONSTANT PARADE OF WANTING TO END ALL LIFE IS RIDICULOUS, THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE IS MADE FROM PICKLE INSPECTORS SO YOUR MISSION IS FLAWED FROM THE BEGINNING. SO YOU KNOW WHAT, FUCK YOU AND YOUR SHIT SHOW OF FREAKS.

Death paps the devil.

*Ygg sighs*

You're about as mature as a newborn babe. I'll have you know that my deals leave the universe perfectly intact. If you actually observed the literal tears in the universe when this idiot lets others walk out of here, you'd realize I'm doing you a favor keeping people out of here.

IF IT ACTUALLY DID REAL DAMAGE WE'D BE THE FIRST TO KNOW. BESIDES, IT'S NOT LIKE GPI HASN'T FIXED REALITY FUCK UPS BEFORE. IF THERE WAS AN ACTUAL PROBLEM TO DEATH SUCKING AT HIS JOB AND BEING UNABLE TO STOP PEOPLE WE WOULD HAVE REPLACED HIM MILLENNIA AGO. HIM LETTING THE CATGIRL OUT IS A FUCK UP, BUT WITH ME HERE IT'S EASILY FIXABLE, SO FUCK YOU AND GET OUT OF THE AFTERLIFE
The devil took out his gay pornography (Pitchfork), trying to stab Ygg with it.

Death quietly mentions that Feferi isn't necessarily restrained by the universe as she's technically "Death" as well.

*Ygg sighs and bats the pitchfork away with a tendril*

Do try to contain yourself, simpleton. If you're willing to fix this problem, then by all means be my guest. But if this continues to be a problem, I will intervene, and it won't be pretty.

*Ygg fades to black and dissipates*

THAT'S RIGHT. YOU BETTER RUN.
The devil turned around, putting away his pitchfork. He scratches his head, trying to remember what he was doing.
OH RIGHT. CAT GIRL. YOU'RE COMING WITH US.
He walked towards Death's boat, motioning for her to follow him.

Death waited off to the side, pouring him a cup of tea to calm his lack of nerves.

:33 < but...

*Neps eyes widen even further, and she starts shaking with fear, Fef drapped over her shoulder*
-------------
*Fef cracks her eyes slightly to see where the Devil is standing. She vaults off of Nep's shoulders, shoving her into the door*

RUN N-EP-ETA!

*Fef pops her 2x3dent into her hand and hurls it at the Devil, crouches, and glares daggers at both of them. Blood oozes from her hand and gill, making her wince, but she steadies herself*
------------
*Nep stares confused at Feferi, but obliges and opens the door, staring out into what seems to be the city*

The 2x3dent bounces off of the Devil's lard belly, a successful autoparry. He looks down at the weapon.
WHY DOES HER PITCHFORK LOOK BETTER THAN MINE?
He asked, envious of her weapon.
IT'S PROBABLY WORTH A FORTUNE.
He said with greed in his eyes. He looked up and saw Nepeta gone.
WELL FUCK. AH WELL, I'LL GET HER LATER, OR THE FUCKING HIPPIE WILL. WHO CARES.
He grumbled lazily. He walked over to the boat and left for the underworld, writing a note to get Nepeta later.

*Nep having left, Feferi relaxes and sighs heavily, sitting back down in the chair*

Sometimes you can be a reel jerk, Dad! You couldn't )(ave just lost on porpoise?

Death jumps in surprise, the tea spilling on the ground. He turns to his daughter, saying that he can't really do that kind of stuff in his job, especially in luck based games. He can't just throw a match because he feels like someone shouldn't be dead. There's rules to this thing, and obviously if the rules aren't followed you get a shitstorm like what just happened there. Death gasps, covering his mouth. He apologizes for cursing.

*Fef smiles weakly, then winces, glancing at her hand*

Got any bandages, Dad?

Death shakes his head. The afterlife wasn't really equipped for people who are injured, more of people who were injured to the point of having to be in the afterlife. He mentions he can open a door to a hospital or something if she would like.

*Fef sighs, nodding*

Death opens up a door to a hospital.

*Fef strides out into the night of the city once more, closing the door behind her*

*AND THEN A TIMESKIP HAPPENED AND IT IS NOW THE NEXT DAY. EVEN THOUGH TIME HAS NO REAL MEANING IN THE AFTERLIFE BUT WHATEVER