Skaian Battlefield

oh god oh god can't you look away for one second without someone almost dieing? IS THAT HONESTLY ASKING FOR TOO MUCH?! Okay don't panic what to do what to do....? You got it! Time to be the pseudo leader and protect your teammates you oh god you, go in front of the rook and distract him with your dance of friendship and success!

You do not have enough time to react so you crash into the pawns and then you all crash into the the other guy.

SUDDENLY PAIN

Owwww okay......Maybe you should have planned that better but on the bright side at least you improved your dancing skill. You give a small woo of success.

((I would just like to establish my view on this. I am taking the same route as Sollux did with the humans AKA Thii2 ii2 bull2hiit))

You aren't hurt but you are slightly stunned, you just crashed into three dudes after all.

You run up to the prospiterian, asking if he needs help.

((Aaah guys not so fast.))

Thank the heroes a bisschop is here! The remaining dersites don't seem to be as eager to attack you now that the rook is occupied fighting...two dersites and a prospitian you think?
Anyway, you plead the bisschop to try and save your friends who are scattered on the ground all around you. You say you'll hold of the dersites and point your guns at them, daring them to step closer.

You regain your senses and stand up. The little Prospitan with the shooty thingy is daring you to step closer. You puff out your chest and step closer, asking him if he's looking for trouble. You need to show everyone here who's the strongest around here.

you realise this rook will be of no help to you, the class order is ingrained to deeply into his brain for him to take orders anyone except a dersite rook or the king and queen

you line up your sniper rifle with the back of his head and, with a plea for forgivness to the deriste royals, take the shot

You lower your guns a bit and say no not you damnit!
Suddenly you hear the faint sound of a prospitian snipe rifle.

((Uh, two things, is that supposed to kill me? And also, how are you doing that, have you seen what a rook looks like?

Rook:

The head is on the front of his body, not on the top. You could probably try to shoot him in the back and hope to hit his head but "lining up a shot with the back of his head" should be pretty damn impossible from the back

I'm just saying, I'd be okay if he's supposed to die but what you're trying to do probably doesn't quite work here...))

((sorry forgot how much covering he had from the back ok change it from 'back of his head' to 'where you think his head is' or something like that))

((and it could always miss and bounce off that tower bit or something))

You acknowledge the prospiterians cry and use a few spells of healing on his friends. They look better and ready to fight.

You feel a sharp pain in your back. The little odd one must have shot you.

You turn around to him and say that you were just doing your job but NOW it's personal.

You grab his torso with both hands and press.

You can't express your joy about your friends' aliveness attribute. You do a little jig and hug the bishop before you realize the rook has turned it's back on you and has returned to fighting the newcomers. It's not looking good, but you hesitate to interfere. Who even are these people? You ask the bishop what he thinks about it.

You say you could care less about the dersite, though that halfy is part prospit, so you need to help! You start sending a few spells To the Pariah to keep him from getting too badly crushed. It also should make him squeak when squeezed.

SUDDENLY PAIN

you lift your gun up again and press it against his head

you tell the rook to put you the fuck down before you turn his head to mush

You're not sure what the bishop means but if he says you should help then so be it. You signal two spearmen, empty your pistols and draw your sword as you charge at the rook.

Sandstriker wrote:

It also should make him squeak when squeezed.

XD

Okay you're just here on the floor injured and more liable to attack than ever whatever you do just don't-oh god you passed out.

You completly miss the threat that the odd little pawn made, in fact you don't notice anything happening around you, because you discovered something wonderful. He squeaked. When you pressed him, for some reason he started squeaking. Your anger is gone as fast as it came as you squeeze the little pawn some more so that he squeaks again. Your eyes sparkle like the eyes of a little child on christmas eve

you tell him to squeak stop squeak squeezing squeak or you will squeak stop squeak squeaking and squeak start squeak punching

You burst out laughing. That was always the funniest side effect.

you point the sniper rifle at the bishop and tell him to stop squeak laughing or you will squeak blow his squeak head off

You ignore everything and just smile wildly. Though then you stop for a moment and turn around to the big Prospitan. You ask him if he was the one who did this. You look very serious.